“Do you know…
where you’re going to?
Do you like the things
that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
— Diana Ross
So, I did it: the thing I said I’d never do. I took the dare, rose to the challenge, and dove straight into the deep end of the cesspool of online dating that is Tinder.
And, you know what? I don’t think it’s deep enough for me. I know: You’re thinking, “Tinder? Shallow? SHOCKING!!!”
This is not to say that I’m looking to delve deeper into the dark side of online dating, or that I’m giving up on the “swipe-life”. Indeed, I think I may just be scratching the surface there…
That said, I’m also fully aware that “surface” may be all that Tinder has to offer.
When I began this, the point was simply to “get back out there” and get my “feet wet” in the world of online dating–which I hadn’t visited in almost a decade. Well, I’ve been splashing around in puddles for almost two months now, so I think it’s safe to say that my feet are–at the very least–damp. I also think it might be time to…diversify my interests, so to speak.
Besides, what’s the point of so many of you living vicariously through my dating drama, if I’m not going anywhere you’d ever actually deign to visit?
So, here’s what’s going to happen now: before I take things to the next level with any of my current (and swiftly dwindling) prospects, I’m going to kick this thing up a notch. Actually, I’m going to kick it up several notches. I’m going to take this show on the road…through some of your favorite dating sites.
Now this is going to be tricky, because although I eventually hope to fall madly in love again and ultimately find a suitable and committed partner, I’m still fairly convinced that the Internet is the end of romance, and therefore, have a hard time believing that my perfect match could actually be on Match.com.
I’m not sure if my lack of faith is a strength or a weakness in the online arena, but I do know that this is a whole lot more proactive than dining solo at my local, hoping Prince Charming will just magically appear at the bar beside me, sans date.
I also know that while I’m neither an “Insert-Husband-HERE” girl, nor the “Happy Hook-up”-type, placing myself on a sliding scale between “LetsGetMarried.com” (otherwise known as eHarmony) and Tinder is bound to force me to answer the question: What do I really want?
So, here goes me: spreading myself all over the internet. Okay, that just sounded…wrong.
Yes, I’m staying on Tinder, since it’s now the baseline. And despite the fact that my particularly liberal set of family values are apparently very at odds with Dr. Neil Warren’s, I’m also re-upping my now decade-dormant (and yet, strangely not expired) subscription to eHarmony, simply because I can’t find anything more commitment-oriented, outside of an actual matchmaker.
But, I’ll also be joining a few sites firmly in the middle. The jury’s still out on which ones are best (feel free to comment below), but I’m thinking something firmly pedestrian, like a Match or OkCupid. And then, how about something newer, like Happn or Hinge (though the idea of having too many people in common sounds strangely claustrophobic to me)?
And because I’m a womanist, I’m also going to sign up for Bumble–which is similar to Tinder, but female-initiated, contact-wise. Interestingly, the female founder was also initially a founder of Tinder, who departed after making a sexual harassment allegation against one of her partners.
Bumble will undoubtedly pose a tremendous challenge to my preference that men make the first move; but as Chaka said, “I’m a woman, and I’m a backbone.” I can take it.
Do you think I should perhaps try something more niche, too? I patently refuse to do SoulSwipe (the name alone makes me itch), but I’m an avid reader; should I search for a bookish boyfriend on Alikewise? Then again, I’ve also had an unfortunate tendency to date dudes even broker than me. Should I go for broke on MillionaireMatch?
Honestly, I have no idea where I’ll even find the time–let alone, the stamina–to cast a wider net, since I already find Tinder utterly exhausting and time-consuming. But what I don’t want to do is look up in another seven weeks–or seven months–and find myself simply a well-seasoned first-and-second dater. I may not know what I want yet (I still believe I’ll know it when I see it), but I at least want to feel like I’m getting somewhere…
So, let’s go.