Tinder:
Day 33

Be careful what you wish for…

So…this is the part where I either get called out for my hypocrisy, scorned for being too picky, or lauded for having good instincts. You be the judge.If you’ve been riding along with me through Tinderland, you may recall that within the past week, I’ve complained both about matches who remain mute and men who entirely bypass greetings in favor of propositions. I also unmatched all dudes who went more than a week without making the first move, and even amended my profile to state that I expect them to make that move, and I will respond in kind.

So, what’s wrong with this picture?

eric Well, let’s first just state the obvious: I am apparently rude as hell, since this guy messaged me a good 9 or 10 days ago and I have said nothing. I am not proud. I don’t even have a concrete excuse, except…

Something just feels off—like, taking a wrong turn and ending up at the Bates Motel “off”.

I’ve analyzed this message several times since I received it, trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that creeps me out. I mean, enthusiastic greeting? Check. Compliments? Check. Desire to move the conversation forward into a meeting? Check.

And yet, I can’t escape the feeling that this is just a very personable form letter, likely cut-and-pasted to any woman he matches with, and full of thinly veiled sexual innuendo…

Methinks me thinks too much. In fact, me knows I do.

Eager to get a second opinion, I handed my phone over to my #1 Bulls**t Detector (also known as Mom). She visibly recoiled while reading it, and basically tossed the phone back at me. Okay, so it’s not just me. But Mom couldn’t give a concrete reason for her reaction, either.

“It’s just something in the energy,” she says. Well, she is a certified clairvoyant. Then again, she’s also a former investigative journalist.

And if this exercise is as much about following my gut as getting out there—and there are plenty of other options to explore—do I really have much to lose by quietly unmatching myself from this guy?

Or is it that—to quote Kanye (I promise it won’t happen again)—“I always find, yeah, I always find something wrong…?”

Is this what I do? Do I take a decent guy with a relatively innocuous approach and allow my paranoia turn him into a creep full of innuendo?

Nope, according to my bestie, who simply said, “Ick.”

Yeah, so I think we know where this one is headed. But I’m interested to hear your thoughts, since we are apparently in this love together…with miles to go before we sleep. Would you go with my gut?

  • Pascalle

    A FB friend just shared your blog and I am trying to catch up in order. I realize this post is old but I agree that something was definitely awry. The part where he said “great at kissing… Opppps.” Yuck. Nope. You in danger, girl. It all came off as very ingenuous and ultimately premeditated. Also he actually said Ops with far too many p’s so Oops, next!

About the author

Who me? I’m just your average Grammy-nominated goddess next door. May I borrow a cup of sugar?

But seriously: I’m a musician, model, writer, all-around creative and devoted auntie. Like you, I’m just out here in the universe, trying to make it happen…whatever that is.